Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife isfinishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. Thewife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bobsays, "I'll give you ?800 to drop that towel." Afterthinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bobhands her ?800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up inthe towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets tothe bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies."Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything aboutthe ?800 he owes me?"Moral of the story:If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be ina position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priestnearly had an accident. After controlling the car, hestealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,"Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide upher leg again. The nun once again said, "Father,remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorrysister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival atthe church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will findglory."Moral of the story:If you are not well informed in your job, you mightmiss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the managerare walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Geniesays, "I'll give each of you just one wish." Me first!Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in theBahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. Me next! Me next!" saysthe sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing onthe beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supplyof Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.The manager says, "I want those two back in the officeafter lunch."Moral of the story:Always let your boss have the first say

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can Ialso sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the groundbelow the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a foxappeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.Moral of the story:To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to beable to get to the top of that tree," sighed theturkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied thebull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkeypecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gavehim enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, hereached the second branch. Finally after a fourthnight, the turkey was proudly perched at the top ofthe tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, whoshot him out of the tree.Moral of the story:BullSh!t might get you to the top, but it won't keepyou there.

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into alarge field. While he was lying there, a cow came byand dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird laythere in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began tosing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singingand came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, andpromptly dug him out and ate him.Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh!ts on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh!t is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep sh!t, it's best to keepyour mouth shut!
This ends the 3-minute management course